How Do You Set Boundaries?
Two Blooms had an amazing rest over the holidays but deep down I knew my blog was waiting. As hard as it was to not keep writing, Caron & I both needed the break and time away for our minds to wander and dream. I hope everyone reading this post had a great time during Christmas and New Years.
Setting boundaries? What are they and why is it important? This is what I’ve been mulling over lately. When you reach the end of the year you look back on what you did and how effective it was or if anything needed to be changed.
Are you a mother or father and feel like you are juggling too many things? Are you a student and you’re going to school and working a part-time or full time job and trying to have a life? (yup I’ve been there and it’s not pretty) Maybe you’re older and retired and everyone assumes you have nothing to do so you feel you have to say yes to everything. Or you work for yourself and no one understands why you are busy when you work from home? (I can so relate to that one).
According to Wikipedia Setting boundaries can be described this way. “It is the practice of openly communicating and asserting personal values as way to preserve and protect against having them compromised or violated. “
If we don’t have boundaries we feel frustrated and end up doing too much and get resentful because either we can’t say no, we feel guilty about saying no because we feel roped into something, or we are just one of these people who wants to make others happy.
Having boundaries allows you to be more effective at what you do. Psychologically you aren’t hampered by the emotional baggage that comes from constantly saying yes. You live a happier life.
So looking back on last year are there things you could have said no too that would have given you more free time to do the things that were more important? As you’re reading this, set a goal to have more boundaries in your life and say yes to those things that you really want to do. If saying no is difficult, start small every week and if you feel stuck when someone asks you to do something say “let me thing about that” or “let me check my schedule and get back to you.” Then every week mark out your calendar and look at free spots during your week and decide if this thing you are saying yes to is something you really want to do.
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