Look Ahead

My friend sent me an email tonight, she’d been suddenly let go from a job she loved and one that she’d been good at.  I felt so bad for her.

And then I looked at the date and I remembered.

This time last year,  I too had been let go from a job I loved.  It was a family run business, had worked there for 6 years and been a part of the company for 13.  Called into the new bosses office one afternoon and let go.  No severance pay and no farewell cake with all the staff either, I never got to even say good bye.  I walked out to the parking lot, called home and sobbed.  Last summer was a blur of crying.  I cried clear to Christmas.

In January I tried to convince myself I was over it all but I hadn’t counted on feeling shunned.  How no one bothered to call to see how I was, no one checked to see if I was ok.  February – June still crying and thinking I’d never get over this.  This would be my undoing and I’d never amount to anything ever again.

I can’t say there was one clear moment when the sun began to shine and birds started chirping again.  But it happened.  And I didn’t even realize it, until my family mentioned that I didn’t cry anymore.  The answer was to have people in my life that loved me regardless, that pushed me to see that there was life after getting fired.  That I had value and I would heal.  And I did.  So much so, that I walked into a gathering where my old boss was and I didn’t even flinch.  I sat down, enjoyed the program, hugged a few people and walked away.  The pain had gone, the sting had subsided and I had not only forgiven the players, but moved on.  And if you had told me this time last year, I would never have believed you.  But I guess that’s what faith is, just putting one foot in front of the other and looking ahead.