The Noise Outside, the Love Within

The banging and sanding outside continued as the tears started to well up inside of me.  Been reflective lately I mean I feel like I'm always inwardly reflecting on things but the outside noise took me back. We are getting our house painted something that should have been done 2 years ago. The unthinkable happened and our beautiful mom Carolyn unexpectedly died. It was trauma, shock and the feeling of having my whole world turned upside down. I said to my sister: "Its like a snow globe and someone just came by and shook me."  The grief was real and shook me to my core. My sister and I have alway lived with our mom.

The noise outside reminded me of my sweet mom and the love I still have for her. I remembered her being here with us just over 2 years ago. The last time we had a large reno we were getting the roof done and she was here.

Reminded often of how much she shouldered and shielded from us. We were lost when she left this earth. So many lessons I learned from her and one that I often replicate is getting prepared ahead of time. When having company she would set the table days ahead of time and I never understood why. Well after she died and we had company non stop I started realizing why she did this because when the day arrives there are so many other things to be done.  She'd lay our her clothes the night before so they were ready the next morning.  I've tried to follow in her footsteps like carry a shopping bag in my purse when I go grocery shopping so I always have one. She'd take the cans, tetra packs to the grocery store by walking and made sure they were never overflowing. To this day I do the same whether it's biking or walking.

Hug the ones you love and appreciate every day as it comes.

Beautifully undone, Michelle's Musings