When Pigs Fly

Driving back and forth I could see the sign out of the corner of my eyes, but I didn’t bother to look at it.  Every day there it was and I’d smile driving just a little bit faster to get away from it.

Then, stopped at a corner waiting for the light to change I forgot to avert my eyes and I started to read.  “Couch to 5km in 6 weeks”.  HA!  I thought to myself, this is the busiest time of year for production/shows, there is absolutely no possible way I could do that.  (Notice I am not telling you that my fluffy frame would hate me forever :)

But it kept coming back to me.  I honestly kept hoping that the sign changer would hurry up and find something new to taunt me with, but it is still there.  So I called last week to ask about the class and OH HAPPY DAY, they were full.  No problem I assured the nice lady on the phone, I’d look into it next year (when pigs fly I might as well said).  So when she said “well, I’ve got your name here, so I’ll put you on the wait list, but its pretty full as well”.  Oh sure, no problem, that would be great.  Exercise nightmare averted, lets make some popcorn to celebrate that near miss – WOOOHOOOOOO.

Then one night, the phone rang.  It was HER, the terribly lady from the rec centre.  She cheerfully explained there had been cancellations and she’d love to sign me up.  In shock I agreed and hung up the phone.  Every time I look at the calendar I can hear the music from Jaws sounding its impending doom to Monday night.  And what did she tell me just before she ended the chirpy phone call (I bet she was eating celery sticks while she chatted to me).  BRING A HEADLAMP BECAUSE YOU’LL BE RUNNING AT NIGHT.

Seriously?  I don’t run.  I may walk quickly if chased by a bear, but I haven’t run since 1979.  This could all go terribly wrong.  So if you don’t hear from me tomorrow know that my headlamp probably fell off, I swerved into a tree or a ravine and I am consoling my tomfoolery attempts with my boyfriends Ben and Jerry while Mr. Fudgebrownie whispers sweet nothings to me.  Peace out.

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